Now that’s an honor!

JP Holding of Sunday Toon fame is holding a contest for “Platinum Screwball of 2008,” and yours truly is currently in the lead with 45% of the vote. If you’ve read some of the “Screwball” threads over at, you know what an honor it is for me to be held in such high esteem by a scholar of Holding’s calibre.

Maybe some of y’all could drop by and help him out with the voting, though. So far he’s only found twenty people interested enough to cast a ballot.

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Proof… (sorta)

Via Answer the Skeptic comes this gem. It’s a long, rambling, and breathtakingly ignorant “proof of God” by David Pack, the intellectual heir (if not legal successor) to Herbert W. Armstrong. Armstrong, as you may know, was the founder of the Worldwide Church of God, a group regarded by many mainstream Christians as a heretical cult. After Armstrong’s death, the organization cleaned up its act quite a bit to become more orthodox, which led to a number of splinter groups, like Pack’s, splitting off to continue the Armstrong legacy. Apparently, though, either the folks at Answer the Skeptic don’t know about David Pack’s theological heritage, or else don’t care that they’re turning to cults for help in buttressing their apologetics.

Pack begins by promising everything an apologist could ask for.

This booklet presents numerous absolute, immutable proofs that God does exist. After reading it, you will never again doubt the answer to this greatest of questions! Some proofs will amaze you. Others will inspire you. Still others will surprise or even excite you. All of them will fascinate you with their simplicity. We will first examine some traditional proofs and then consider material that rests on the cutting edge of scientific understanding, before returning to established proofs. You will learn from biology, astronomy, chemistry and mathematics.

Conspicuously absent from this list is anything that would involve, you know, God actually showing up in real life. In fact, Pack’s “proofs” are so vague and superstitious that they could serve equally well as proof of Norse gods, Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Spontaneous Magical Entropy Reversal Fields (SMERFs). Pack could have greatly abridged this piece simply by stating, “I do not know squat about science—therefore GOD EXISTS.”

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Christmas Special: Top Ten Reasons why Santa is Better than Jesus

Just in time for the holidays, here are the top ten reasons why Santa Claus is better than Jesus:

10. Santa laughs more.

9. Santa does not demand your time, your obedience, your worship or your money.

8. Santa doesn’t expect perfection, and even if you screw up, you start the next year with a clean slate.

7. No one was ever burned at the stake for translating the story of Santa into the language of the common folk.

6. Santa’s not all hung up on sex.

5. Santa comes once every 12 months, not occasionally every few thousand years.

4. Santa doesn’t try to “prove” his love for us with some bizarre ritual self-destruction.

3. Santa doesn’t start wars with people who say “Happy Holidays.”

2. Santa doesn’t judge people’s moral character by whether or not they believe in him.

And the number one reason Santa is better than Jesus…

1. Santa doesn’t make you wait til you’re dead before he brings the goodies.

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Too good to pass up

From the fail blog…

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Most. Ironic. Headline. Ever.

Pope in Paris condemns love of money, power.

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The Gypsy Curse

It’s like a scene from an old B-grade black-and white horror flick: Jesus is walking down some dank alleyway in Jerusalem and carelessly bumps into an old gypsy woman, knocking her in the mud and muck, and then thoughtlessly laughing at her misfortune. Her deepset eyes blaze, and she scowls at him. “A curse upon you,” she mutters. “From now on, your followers and supporters will be unable to accuse their critics of any fault or fallacy without being guilty of the same thing themselves.” He, like all B-grade movie heroes, doesn’t take her seriously until her curse starts coming true. Only then does he realize, to his horror, that the curse is inexorable, inescapable, and infallible.

I’m not the only person to see this curse in action. PZ Myers has a post about a reporter, in Salon no less, who falls prey to the old gypsy’s revenge. According to the reporter,

Myers has earned notoriety with his blog, Pharyngula, in which he reports on new developments in biology and indiscriminately excoriates those he views as hostile to science, a pantheon of straw men and women that includes theologians, journalists and churchgoers.

Having accused Myers of excoriating straw men and women, he then goes on to attack a bizarre version of Myers’ views which he seems to have defined by taking the opposite of whatever Myers actually said, and calling it “what he really means.”

And in the background, thin and distance, you can almost hear a gleeful cackle.

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A “blanket” of prayer

Obama is not the only guy claiming that America is no longer a Christian nation. According to the World Net Daily, a coalition of Christian organizations is saying the same thing. Unlike Obama, however, the Christian groups have a foolproof plan to change this situation.

A blanket of prayer for America is being proposed for Sept. 11, 2008, the seventh anniversary of the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, because it no longer is the Christian nation it once was, according to a coalition of organizations.

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Sunday Toons: How NT writers used the OT

I’ve mentioned JP Holding’s cartoon-style apologetics before, but there’s so much good stuff there I might have to make this a regular feature. As a preview of today’s episode, here’s Holding lecturing “Dumplin’ Dumbash” on how name-calling means you’re a loser.

As a matter of fact, Dumbash, it does settle it, and calling the text and its authors names (“Bronze Age,” “superstitious,” “unbelieving”) just shows how inept you are at providing an actual answer.

I may have to revise my opinion of Holding’s grasp of the art of parody.

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With friends like these…

State Representative Darryl Metcalfe, a staunch Republican and proud supporter of the Religious Right, has made a lot of people happy with his ongoing campaign to defend his part of the world from liberals, homosexuals, and immigrants. And at least one church wants to give him a Christian Soldier award for his meritorious service on behalf of their common cause. There’s just one problem: Metcalf doesn’t want it.

State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe issued a statement on Thursday publicly renouncing his nomination for the Christian Soldier award from the Christian Nation-Community of Christ Church.

The Butler County Republican also sent a letter to the group, telling its leaders to stop using his name to publicize a rally planned for August at the Adams Township Community Park.

The problem?

In his statement, Metcalfe said the organization sent him letters claiming it was affiliated with the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.

“As an Army veteran who had the privilege and honor of serving the United States alongside extremely dedicated men and women of all races, religions and national ancestries, I will not allow my office or my name to be compromised,” Metcalfe wrote in his letter to the Church.

He undoubtedly has served alongside gays and immigrants too, though this doesn’t stop him from promoting laws designed to discriminate against both groups. So it’s not that his goals are really so dissimilar from the Christian Nation’s. It’s just that those darn white supremacists are an embarrassment to the Christian supremacists. “Keep your mouth shut, guys, you’re gonna blow my cover.” And send those campaign contributions anonymously, please.

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Apologetics, toon-style

As I mentioned earlier in the week, JP Holding, of Tekton Apologetics Ministries, posted an attempted parody of my blog here. Apparently, he’s not too clear on what real parody looks like, and I did give some thought to making a parody site of my own, by way of illustration. I decided not to, however. In the first place, it’s too easy. (I mean, come on, I’m being mocked by a site that sounds and acts like “”? Word.) But secondly, I think it would be both more useful and more enjoyable to confront his theological arguments directly.

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