Christmas Special: Top Ten Reasons why Santa is Better than Jesus

Just in time for the holidays, here are the top ten reasons why Santa Claus is better than Jesus:

10. Santa laughs more.

9. Santa does not demand your time, your obedience, your worship or your money.

8. Santa doesn’t expect perfection, and even if you screw up, you start the next year with a clean slate.

7. No one was ever burned at the stake for translating the story of Santa into the language of the common folk.

6. Santa’s not all hung up on sex.

5. Santa comes once every 12 months, not occasionally every few thousand years.

4. Santa doesn’t try to “prove” his love for us with some bizarre ritual self-destruction.

3. Santa doesn’t start wars with people who say “Happy Holidays.”

2. Santa doesn’t judge people’s moral character by whether or not they believe in him.

And the number one reason Santa is better than Jesus…

1. Santa doesn’t make you wait til you’re dead before he brings the goodies.

 
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Posted in Amusements, Unapologetics. 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Christmas Special: Top Ten Reasons why Santa is Better than Jesus”

  1. Dave Says:

    We can see Santa, and ask him for stuff, not in church, but in our local department store.

    If we can stay awake, we can see Santa in action on Christmas Eve.

    We don’t have to drink his blood or eat his flesh, but we can, at our option, leave milk and cookies out for Santa.

  2. harebell Says:

    Also any one of us can play Santa without being denounced to death as an apostate.

  3. John Morales Says:

    harebell, there’s this:

    Father wearing Santa Clause outfit, who came to pick up his daughter from a night club in south Tel Aviv, set upon by gang of youths
    Natasha Musgovia Published: 01.03.06

  4. Matt Says:

    You guys have a really screwed up view of Jesus…He actually requires nothing of you. He offers you everything however.
    Here’s something to consider…
    1. Jesus is all hung up on sex, he created sex and said that it was good for a man to leave his mother and father and join with his wife.
    2. Jesus actually promises to never leave us nor forsake us.
    3. For you to think that Jesus doesn’t bring us the goodies daily makes me sure that you have never had a personal encounter with Him. His goodies are new every day…says so in the bible.

  5. Matt Says:

    Typo in last submission sorry:
    You guys have a really screwed up view of Jesus…He actually requires nothing of you. He offers you everything however.
    Here’s something to consider…
    1. Jesus is not all hung up on sex, he created sex and said that it was good for a man to leave his mother and father and join with his wife.
    2. Jesus actually promises to never leave us nor forsake us.
    3. For you to think that Jesus doesn’t bring us the goodies daily makes me sure that you have never had a personal encounter with Him. His goodies are new every day…says so in the bible.

  6. Deacon Duncan Says:

    Hi Matt, thanks for visiting. The post above is satire, but it highlights an important point. Jesus is a creature of people’s minds. Good people imagine a good Jesus, intolerant people imagine an intolerant Jesus, gay people even imagine a gay (or at least, gay-friendly) Jesus. But everything Jesus does, every “goodie” he allegedly brings, happens in the mind of the believer, not out in objective reality. There were no witnesses whenever you “encountered” Jesus, because this happened in your mind, not out where anyone could see it. Likewise, though you may give him credit for things that happen in the real world, you do so the same way you would give any other imaginary friend credit for things. If you ask Jesus to do anything an imaginary friend could never do, like pick up a dropped pencil for you, he will never do it, because he cannot do it. That’s why his work depends on some real person doing it for him.

    And because he is an imaginary friend, he takes on whatever characteristics the believer imagines him to have. For some, he’s a nice guy, causing the rain to fall on both the just and the unjust. For others, he’s a vengeful spirit who sends devastating storms to destroy the lives of both the just and unjust, because America isn’t doing enough to persecute gays, or whatever. Santa, on the other hand, is always imagined as benevolent and kind, so when you look at the big picture, and all of the Jesuses who we “encounter” via the words and deeds of his followers, Santa’s better.