Evangelical Realism

So I’m driving in to work this morning, and I pass by this church, and on the sign out front it says “God is like Alka-Seltzer: try Him, you’ll like Him.” And my first thought is, “Wait, that’s not right. ‘Try it, you’ll like it’ isn’t the Alka-Seltzer slogan.” But then I remember The Commercial. It was pretty popular a few years back (ok, maybe a few decades back), and it went something like this:

…So he says to me, “Try it, you’ll like it.” I says, “No thank you, I don’t wanna try it.”

So he says to me, “Try it, you’ll like it!” I says, “No thank you, I don’t wanna try it.”

So he says to me, “TRY it, you’ll LIKE it!” So I tried it.

I didn’t like it. It gave me acid indigestion and heartburn.

Yep, that’s God all right.